$^#!! Road Rage Can Churn in the Calmest of Hearts

Tens of millions of individuals start and end their workdays with 30 to 90 minutes of noise, exhaust fumes, and slow-motion frustration, surrounded by others who are under just as much stress as they are. Unfortunately, a grueling commute can have a huge negative impact on your well-being and raise your stress hormones sky-high long before you get to the office.

How can you keep from succumbing to blood-pressure-raising fury when you’re crammed behind the wheel? Well, if you’re one of those road warriors who drive with vengeance and anger in their hearts, you’re in luck: This article gives you ten helpful ideas to use to combat road rage.

With these tools, all you’ll need to do next time you get behind the wheel is fasten your seat belt, check your mirrors, put your hands at the 10 and 2 o’clock positions, and go!

1. Don’t Rush

   
   If you’re driving aggressively and getting hasty with everyone else on the road, chances are you feel that you’re in a rush. You didn’t allow yourself enough time and now time is your enemy.

   When your mind gets in a hurry, your body jump on the bandwagon. Everything escalates — heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension. You’re primed for action and all set to jump on whomever gets in your way. And you use anger to clear the way!

   Stop hurrying and start relaxing. Calculate how long it will take you to drive somewhere and add an extra 10 minutes for every 15 to 30 minutes of driving time. Or see if you can drive without looking at the time — before you put your key in the ignition, put your watch in your pocket.

2. Loosen Your Grip

   
   How hard do you hold the wheel when you drive? If you’re an aggressive driver, you’re probably using the “death grip.” Loosen your grip and you’ll be perplexed at how much more relaxed you feel while driving.

   Hold the steering wheel like you would hold a soft-boiled egg or a child’s hand — softly. The change in physical tension is immediate. The relaxation you experience in your hands travels up your arms into your shoulders and neck, and down into your lower back — throughout your entire body, just like that. Give it a try.

3. Focus on the Journey

   
   Aggressive drivers have tunnel vision. They’re centered on only one thing — where they’re going, the destination. If you’re an aggressive driver, if anybody gets between you and your destination, there’s hell to pay. You’re staring straight ahead. Your mind is way out front, down the road, around the next turn before you get there. You’re on a mission!

   If this sounds familiar, you’re missing the big picture: the journey. And life is all about the journey. Destinations come and go, but the journey is perpetual. Relax into the journey — look around at the people, scenery, and events that you’re passing, and you’ll probably be a whole lot less angry.

4. Be the Other Driver

   
   Are you one of those individuals who thunder past the little old man driving under the speed limit, shaking their fist and yelling for all the world to hear, “Get out of the way, you old fool!”?

   Well, consider this for a moment: One day, if you’re lucky and your road rage doesn’t kill you first, you’ll be that old guy. That’s right — that will be you, slumped down in the seat, white hair hardly visible above the wheel, staring straight ahead, oblivious to everything around you, and driving 30 in a 55-mph zone. Try to visualize yourself as the other driver. Put yourself in his shoes.

5. Take the “I” out of Driver

   
   Make driving more about the other guy: “I’ll slide over and let him pass. He’s in more of a hurry than I am.” “The way he’s driving, he must really be enjoying his day.” “Wow, what an furious fellow — I certainly wouldn’t want to be in his shoes.”

   Stay humble while driving. Don’t think of yourself as someone who’s entitled to special consideration out there on the highway. Don’t set yourself apart from the pack. Just be one of the bozos and relax.

6. Look on the Bright Side

   
   If you see another driver doing something that you consider “just plain ignorant,” that makes you a smarter driver, right? That’s good. If it takes you longer to get somewhere than you had planned, you end up having more time to relax and enjoy your own private thoughts along the way. That’s good.

   With this kind of logic you’ll be able to cope in a variety of circumstances. The next time you feel yourself on the verge of rage, ask yourself: “What good can possibly come from this?” When you come up with an answer, you can relax.

7. They Are Not the Enemy

   
   Rage is an emotion that people reserve for their true enemies. Enemies are those folks that you believe mean to harm you knowingly and intentionally. “That individual tried to hit me just now!” He’s out to get you — plain and simple. So, you protect yourself with rage.

   The point I’m trying to make is that those other drivers aren’t your enemies. They don’t even know you — they’re strangers. Truth is they’re not thinking at all about you — they’re thinking about themselves. There’s no grand conspiracy operating here! Granted, they may be a nuisance sometimes, but your enemy? Nah.

8. Stop Catastrophizing

   
   So that individual in front of you is slowing you down — it’s not the end of the world. So the guy in front of you doesn’t move as soon as the light changes to green — it’s not the end of the world. Or is it? Is your world that delicate and tenuous? Do you actually view the everyday hassles of driving as a series of unending catastrophes — sudden, unexpected events that cause great harm?

   Are they on par with finding out that you just lost most of your retirement money because of a major correction in the stock market? That your adorable little daughter wants to marry a drug dealer? Now, I grant you — those are catastrophes!

9. Stop Being So Rational

   
   I can hear you now. “What in the world is he thinking, pulling out in front of that other vehicle? He should know better than that. God, that’s dangerous.” Or, that old frustration: “Why can’t she pull over and get in the non-passing lane if she’s only going to go the speed limit? She’s not supposed to be in this lane. What an idiot!”

   The misjudgment here — which leads to your anger — is that you’re trying to understand why other people drive the way they do. My advice: Stop trying and just accept things as they are, not how you want them to be or think they should be.

   Driving behavior in humans is no more rational or logical than any other aspect of life. Why do people vote the way they do? Why do people eat the way they do? Why do people do drugs? Expect less and relax more.

10. Settle for Just Being Irritated

    
    Obviously no one’s talking about feeling nothing when you get frustrated while driving. The problem isn’t that you get angry; the problem is that you get too angry (experiencing rage).

    Why not settle for just being irritated or even mad? That way you’re still in control of your actions even though you’re certainly not a happy camper. After all, no one ever gets arrested for “road irritation,” or we’d probably all be in jail.

Everything is a matter of degree, and anger is no different. Why not tone it down and relax? Drive safely and enjoy your ride.